MICROCHIPPED CANS

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Evening, dear readers!


I spent my free time this morning doing some digging into Mepsi Corp. at the local library—turns out they have copies of papers going back decades… weirdos—and I’ve discovered ABSOLUTE PROOF that Mepsi are controlling my brain! Your brain… Well, OUR brains, anyway: I found a clipping that had been removed from one of the newspapers. It looked like someone had tried to redact the article but had accidentally dropped it back in the folder instead of destroying it!

Naturally, seeing as how the article was supposed to have been removed anyway, I liberated it from the library and brought it back to my dorm. The headline alone should be enough to shock you! See for yourself:


(Full size image here)

Okay… Actually, now that I’ve read that through properly, I realize that the journalist might not have been using the term “microchips” in quite the way I had been assuming… Well, this is a little embarrassing—I didn’t actually have anything else planned for today’s article… Unless… Wait, what if Mepsi Corp ENGINEERED this scandal to distract from the REAL scandal of the ACTUAL microchips they have hidden in their cans?!

Well played, Mepsi, well played… In fairness, the article IS about ten years old, so even if it HAD been talking about literal microchips, I imagine they’d have probably miniaturized by now… Perhaps I should start calling them “nanochips”…? It might be a good idea, if only to create a distinction between the REAL conspiracy and the somewhat embarrassing “weak can” incident of ’93…

I should get to work hunting for more evidence. Make sure to check back tomorrow!


And don’t forget they can read your text messages!


- KK

Join the investigation at https://discord.com/invite/J2dSfmH

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