GRUELLING WORK

-

Afternoon, dear followers!


I’ve received another e-mail from our elusive Mr. J! This time, he has asked that if I’m “going to insist on being so persistent” could I “at least lend a hand infiltrating Mepsi Corp.”! Mr. J has offered to share EVERY detail of his investigation into Mepsi—extraterrestrial management structure included—with me so long as I help him gain undercover access to the company…!

It would seem that Mr. J was, in fact, a fellow theorist all along! Now, as my long-time readers will know, I’m not one to trust easily, but given that he is asking for information on a soda company that we already KNOW to be attempting to control our minds with nanochips, I can’t honestly see a good reason not to help him.

Well, no reason except one, actually. You see, dear readers, I’ve just this morning discovered a rumor that the Academy has been putting kraken juice in the lunch gruel! Naturally, as I’m sure you’ll agree, this requires urgent investigation, but that does leave me unable to fulfil Mr. J’s request…

If any of you reading have been able to find anything hidden in the Mepsi Corp. website that would give our elusive friend the upper hand in his proposed espionage (some kind of internal document, perhaps?), send it to kostadins.truth@gmail.com and I’ll make sure he gets it—worry not, you shall most certainly be credited—perhaps even rewarded—for your efforts! (Assuming they’re worth crediting, of course.)

Now, I’m afraid I must depart in order to feed a bowl of gruel to one of the Academy goats and record the results… I rather like goats, actually. They’re a lot like sheeple, in many ways, but entirely more honest about it.


Stay alert,


- KK

Join the investigation at https://discord.com/invite/J2dSfmH

Popular posts from this blog

J IS FOR JOGGING

-
Image
Fellow theorists! Explosive news! I have been contacted DIRECTLY by the elusive Mr. J! This very morning, I received an e-mail requesting that I “stop poking around, kid” and that, if I’m not careful, I might “blow his cover”… You of course know what this means, my dear followers: I WAS RIGHT!!! You only get this sort of response when you’re onto something! Naturally, once I’m done with today’s little expedition to the foot of the mountains in search of dinosaur droppings, I’ll be redoubling my efforts to track down this “J” character with renewed vigor! A “bird” just flew past my window, so I’ll keep the remainder of this article brief: I actually won an invitation to a promotional “Fun Run” (whatever one of those is supposed to be) inside a two liter bottle of Mepsi… which I only bought for research purposes, you understand. Anyway, the promotion, much like ALL Mepsi-related scheming, seemed highly suspicious, so I decided to include a scan for you all to inspect: (Full size ...
Read more

MICROCHIPPED CANS

-
Image
Evening, dear readers! I spent my free time this morning doing some digging into Mepsi Corp. at the local library—turns out they have copies of papers going back decades… weirdos—and I’ve discovered ABSOLUTE PROOF that Mepsi are controlling my brain! Your brain… Well, OUR brains, anyway: I found a clipping that had been removed from one of the newspapers. It looked like someone had tried to redact the article but had accidentally dropped it back in the folder instead of destroying it! Naturally, seeing as how the article was supposed to have been removed anyway, I liberated it from the library and brought it back to my dorm. The headline alone should be enough to shock you! See for yourself: (Full size image here ) Okay… Actually, now that I’ve read that through properly, I realize that the journalist might not have been using the term “microchips” in quite the way I had been assuming… Well, this is a little embarrassing—I didn’t actually have anything else planned for ...
Read more